Tonight I was riding the L train on my way to a Landmark seminar - it hit me hard that it still had not snowed and before I could blink I was crying - I felt so sad. Growing up in upstate NY, it was always cold and the snow came hard and lasted a long time, but I loved it... The first snow was one of my favorite moments every year - I knew that sledding, fires, and hot chocolate were on the way. There's something so amazing about the winter. I think for me a big part of it is the chance to appreciate warmth... There's something incredible about freezing your ass off outside or on the ski slopes and the feeling you get when you step inside - your body is flushed - its almost like a rush, a natural high. and when you get inside, there is nothing like a fire and a hot drink - its perfect...
So I was on the train, thinking how sad it would be if one day there was no longer snow. And it seems like it is going in that direction. The weather is freaking me out... My friend Jesse told me that in 50 years if things don't change quick, we will no longer be able to eat seafood. http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1731305/posts
and that we are running out of fresh water even quicker.
I got off the train and stood outside Landmark for a while looking at the smoggy NY sky and the cement ground and felt so overwhelmed... I felt hopeless - like the world is dying and there's nothing i can do b/c i'm just one person in a world of people that seem so set on destroying themselves and everything around them. Everywhere I look, it seems that we just want to killkillkill. We kill ourselves, we kill the earth, we kill others, we kill our hopes. We are so busy trying to prove ourselves, trying to be right, trying to possess - being unconcious, and we leave no room for anything but destruction. The sad thing is that we make these decisions not b/c we are "Bad" or "Wrong" - we make them b/c we don't know any better, b/c we think we are right, b/c we are afraid... Bush, Bin Laden, You, Me - we're all the same... At the end of the day, we are just like them. We want to believe that we're different - that one is "Right" and the other is "Wrong"... But that only proves how we are the same. We live what we know. Guaranteed that what you think is right, someone else thinks is wrong. and what they think is right you think is wrong. Does that make you right? Does it make you wrong? or is it possible that right and wrong only exist in our heads? We all make decisions that we believe are right and those decision are based on what we know. Unfortunately, most of us know jack shit and tell ourselves that we know it all. That's why we fight. That's why we kill.
I went into the seminar not wanting to be there - i was just so sad... i wanted to crawl up in bed and cry or write a song, but i forced myself to go in. By the end of the class I realized that I was doing to myself exactly what I see us all doing in the world - I was killing myself off by being hopeless and small. It's so easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless b/c the world is so big. It's so easy for me to go into my whole bullshit story - oh, I'm just some poor songwriter, not big enough to make a difference in the world, so why bother? That's what I say to myself when I'm looking for an easy out. It would be so much easier to just curl up on my couch and put on my headphones.. to give up.. but then what's the point of being alive? If I'm not out there making a difference, life is pointless.
The fact of the matter is - this is OUR world. If we don't all start to make a difference, start to change the way we treat the universe, if we don't create awareness for one another - we all fail. There is no "I" here... butterfly effect - karma - whatever you want to call it - we all live and die in this world together.
The universe will take care of itself - the cyclone in London, freak tsunamais and hurricanes, disease... Is it possible that WE are all responsible for these things that are happening? WE are causing these freak incidents. The way that we treat the environment - how wasteful we are - how unaware. I don't believe that any of us do it out of malice - we all have basic goodness - we treat the world the way we do b/c we don't know any better and/or b/c we are trying to protect OURselves. But it hit me tonight - we have to work together. All of us. Every single one... There is no "I" in the universe - only in our heads - and if we remain divided, things will be no different that they were yesterday. If there is one thing in our world that is universal - it is to learn how to take care of the universe. It doesn't matter who we are, where we come from - we all share the same world and its our responsibility to care for it and create awareness for others.
So I am starting to think about what I can do... I don't know exactly how it will show up yet, but it will.
I'm exhausted... I need to go sleep. I didn't go to sleep on Saturday and on Sunday we rehearsed all afternoon and then played this jello wrestling party ;) was a riot... I stage dived into the jello pit. freedom baby ;) too fun... thank you for reading this.. if you have anything inspiring to add, please share.. if you want to add facts about the environment, or even better - things we can do to help create awareness, etc - please share b/c it will benefit all of us...
love t
11 comments:
It's true... the state of the environment is completely frightening, and the world is in denial about it. The only good thing about the trajectory of global destruction is that Florida will be underwater in 50 years, ridding our nation of a number of Republicans, and giving it a more pleasant, rectangle-like shape at the same time.
james - love you to death and i totally appreciate your humor - u know that... people are people though - go back and read that blog again ;)
I absolutely agree...
Check this out, it's amazing:
A Slow Death By Progress
If our global civilization dies, what's left to replace it?
"For at least 60,000 years — ever since religious belief first shows itself in the burial rites of Neanderthal Man and the great cave paintings of the Old Stone Age — human societies have probed the mystery of existence with mythology and art. Then, a few centuries ago, the Enlightenment accompanied the rise of modern science and the world quickly became a lonely place, for Man deposed the gods and put himself in charge. And as industry began to remake both nature and society, Western civilization became conscious, for the first time ever, of runaway change, and therefore self-conscious about its destiny..."
Read more
..." jello wrestling party ;) "
!!!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!?!!!!!!
*refuses to read the rest of the post until i hear more or receive pictures*
so there!
:)
I miss snow.
I had written a very long response to your blog only to have it disappear when I went to post it. It probably wouldnt have made you feel better Tiff. In fact it might have made you feel worse.
The shorter more positive version would be this. Do what you can do as an individual. Tiff is responsible for Tiff. Everyone at some point in their life questions why there here and how they can change the world.
Trying to affect real change will consume you. It will be a noble fight on your part, but trust me, it will consume you, and you alone.
Theres a line from a Billy Joel song that sadly says it all. "I once believed in causes too, I had my pointless point of view, but life went on no matter who was wrong or right".
The snow will always be here Tiff. The next time it does snow, go and cover yourself in it. Enbrace it!!
Chris
people will always be fucking each other (and everything else) up. that's part of what happens when you get a globally-aware culture. it's up to people in each generation to be the voices that prevent us from total self-annhilation.
that said, i'm not too afraid of global warming. not because it's not a risk. but rather, because so many people are now aware that it is a risk, and are trying to do something about it.
one thing that a lot of people don't seem to remember is that in the 70s and 80s there was a great fear of the planet COOLING too quickly, and fears of a new ice age.
well, through stringent regulation and elimination of CFC emissions (like freon), that threat has largely been dealt with and forgotten about.
now we face global warming instead. yeesh. maybe one day we'll strike a balance.
Hi, Tiff...
First of all, I want to say I love your band! I am looking forward to hearing you play live the first chance I get.
I'd like to begin by saying I couldn't agree with you more about the snow. I lived upstate for a year and a half (1997-1998), and to be without snow was unthinkable. It would snow every other day, and I loved it. Quite often it would be clear outside at night and I would wake up the next morning to a blanket of fresh snow. Ahhh, nice!
Although I love this city to death, the pollution of this place scares me. I used to read about ecology when I was a kid in the 1970s, and I thought...what a wonderful concept for people to take care of the environment. But, the 70s passed, the 80s, the 90s...and here we are...almost 2007. Just now, people are starting to do something because they are scared of losing their lives...I feel this is their only motivation because they are selfish. I live on a local truck route in the Bronx, and my windowsill is constantly blackened by the exhaust from trucks, cars and especially buses. I am afraid to think of what it might be doing to my lungs, even with a huge park across the street. Trees can only take in so much carbon dioxide.
I get nervous when I read about pieces of iceberg chipping off of the Greenland ice sheet. The thought of the sea level rising 20 feet is not a pleasant one. Where will all the people who live along the coastline live when this happens? Where will the next freak weather event take place? I feel that as humans, we have waited far too long to make it the way it was before all this.
I wouldn't, however, say that it is impossible. I try to recycle as much as possible, but I have come to find out that NYC isn't really doing the recycling job we thought they were doing. We need to cut down on spewing exhaust into our atmosphere. We need to stop driving SUVs and guzzling all that gasoline that we were getting robbed by big oil and our current administration for over the summer of this year. We need to tighten the restrictions again on big industry, so that they can stop polluting our bodies of water. There's a lot that needs to be done, and I'm sure there are ways we can all play a part in this.
I think one of the major changes we have made was through our voting in November. We have effectively sent a message to our current administration that we are not going to stand for this any longer. We want change...now...for the better. We want the killing to end...we want to preserve life, not take it away. We want to be involved in causes that will effect a positive change in our world...not ones that will make us enemies with the rest of the world for generations to come.
We have a lot of work ahead of us, and I am looking forward to being a part of the solution.
Thank you very much for allowing me the opportunity to post here.
I like what you had to say about "peoples is peoples." Very Muppets Take Manhatten, but with eloquence. It's also very tragic, though, because you are right. No one lives and dies for something they believe is a lie. And thus the majority of humanity strives for a goal based on lies. We can't all be right. In fact, if reality teaches us anything it's that we're only right when we believe a certain subset of all possible ideas that happen to coincide with reality.
Anyway, I surfed in from your Valeze request to check out your blog article. Very thought provoking and a nice change of pace from what I come to expect from bloggers these days. Cheers!
i love the way you write tiff!
star
not sure what to say - would love to talk in private - this world scares me lately - my creative outlets seems to be the only things that keeps me partially sane - I could say much more - but wont right now.....
I would love to go skiing with you-does any one remember the snow drought in the late 70's and early 80's? I remember going to vermont, upstate NY in the dead of winter and there was no snow ! anywhere ! for a few years(thems were hard for snow lovers)I remember the days when lift tickets were only $7.00 - things have changed.
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